Our Saturday

Annie had to get going early, the Heart Association walk was this morning and she was participating. Lucy and I met her for breakfast and then took off to Armpit to see The Spawn. We had a great afternoon, my knee will be killing me tomorrow from crawling around in the floor with him, but it was worth it to make him laugh. Since he and I are both fucking adorable, Lucy just almost had an overload of cuteness:)
I'm jealous he has better cars than I do. He's got an Escalade at his house (it's just a small sit-on model, but still) and an actual drivable red Mustang at Mom's house. He can't even fucking reach the gas pedal yet. As for the duck? He's already got one, so now he has one at both houses.

The Duck

Lucy bought The Spawn a big ass yellow duck. She's vacuuming him right now because he's shedding big yellow fuzzies. I'm the test subject as to what he's shedding since I'm wearing dark cargo pants. I feel so loved.

Edit: Now I've been told to remind her to "stitch the duck". Picture will follow later, I'm scairt.

I'm easily amused

I have a new addiction.

I think my retarded bird is back

Last spring a little house finch tried to build a nest in the corner of the porch. There's only like a 1" ledge there. I finally figured out what was happening and duct taped some cardboard up there so she would have a proper ledge. Stupid Bitch. She built a nest. She laid eggs, I didn't pay enough attention to what was going on, during a storm she lost the nest and the eggs. I was upset, I was a bad mother.
She seems to be back, there are nest makings in my ashtray again.
I think I'll just let her become frustrated and build somewhere else this time, I don't have the heart to see it.

Allergies

I'm lucky in a way, I don't have a big problem with nasal allergies. I do unfortunately have skin allergies. I've been itching off and on for the last few days. It's not unbearable, but it's not pleasant either. The only thing I can think of is all the damn pollen floating around is affecting me. I haven't changed soaps, detergents, lotions, any of that, once I find something I can live with I stick to it. So as much as I hate to say it...I wish like hell it would rain!
That is all.

Outside

I stepped outside to smoke (no, I haven't quit dammit) and thought it was raining. It took me a second to realize it was the critters banging against the light. Fuckers.
I'm sure there's a red light district for bugs somewhere, go there and leave me alone, I really feel no need to be accosted by your filthy tentacles, claws, legs, whateverthefuck they are. Fuckers.

That kinda day

Here is your horoscope
for Wednesday, March 28:
Learn to bend and you might not have to break, especially when it comes to dealing with a head honcho type. In other words, someone's looking for a fight, so don't give them the chance. Stay flexible and be cool.

Conversation with my boss early this morning.
Boss: So what can we do to fix this?
Me: Get rid of The Fucktard.
Boss: Ok, so what can we realistically do to fix this?
Me: Hmm, fire me before I kill The Fucktard?
Boss: Maybe you should just go back to your office.
Me: Ok.

Excitement around the Wolf house (not)

I mowed half the yard. I ran out of gas, as did the mower so it seemed like a good place to stop. I did mow the half with the T-Rex so Betty is happy now, he wasn't home.
I'm still going to work early, you don't know just how unprecedented this is, either the boss will have a heart attack or I'll have a breakdown soon. Feel free to place bets, my money is on her right now. Annie went after The Fucktard in a meeting yesterday which meant more work for all of us today, stupid Bitch. But anyway...
Last night I was exhausted but I was going to stay up so I wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night dammit. I hit the couch at 9:00 to watch The Riches, I woke up at 10:15 and took my happy ass to bed. At 1am I hear Annie on the phone, apparently some idiots were chasing each other down the street (in cars) cutting each other off and starting all over. They were gone by the time law enforcement showed up, but I was still looking at the clock at 2:30. I did manage to sleep a bit more and drag my sorry ass to work early yet again, I'm so fucking dedicated.
I think I'll go iron, what a party that is. I need to stay awake to talk to Lucy tonight since I missed her last night.
Hope everyone else is having at least as much fun as I am:)

Yard work

I must mow the backyard tomorrow. I've had to tape bicycle flags to the dog's asses so I'll know where they are. It's ridiculous, 2 weeks ago I was freezing my ass off, now there's a jungle outside the door. I'm hoping that noise I hear in the back corner is just a raccoon or something rather than the T-Rex Betty keeps insisting is back there.

Slumber Party

Last night was our little party at The Widow's house. We had a great time. Of course Lucy had to work so we were pretty well snockered by the time she showed up around midnight. We watched Casino Royale, I was impressed, pretty good movie, didn't hurt that Judi Dench was in it, but anyway. Since we were reverting to our teens anyway, everytime someone mentioned our favorite bartender, I dialed him up and handed them the phone. He called when he got off work about 3am, and called the bar this afternoon while I was there to tell the other bartender to let me know he saved all the messages so we can listen to them later. Lovely. He especially liked Lucy's message about being gentle with him, I told her to use her 900 number voice for that one. Hehehe.

Hair and miscellany

Ya'll know I'm a proponent of brushing your hair before going out in public. BEFORE is the key word here. Don't brush your nappy head at the bar, do it in the car before you come in, or go to the restroom, geeeze. We all look like Pigpen with the cloud of skin cells and hair we're losing every minute as it is, you don't need to add to it in a public place.

Annie and I gave The Handsome Devil a bath when I got home, I'm not sure why I always get the ass-end of the dog, but at least he's clean.

Lucy is well and smoke free, I'm still stuck at cutting down, I haven't been able to bring myself to stop. At least I have cut down, more so when she's here than not, but it's an improvement. On that note, I believe I'll take The Handsome Devil out for a smoke since he's still pissed at us.
Have a good night kids.

Move Along...

There's nothing to see here.

Dirt

I just watched my first episode, I'm almost ashamed to say I really, really liked it. Guess I'll have to try to catch the re-runs since it's almost over.

I thought I was safe

I was at work early again today, I had things to do and Annie wasn't home yet, so it was necessary. I got all the emergency shit out of the way first thing, did boring paperwork till lunch. I decided to skip lunch and have a nap. No Annie, since she's usually the only one to bother me, things had been smooth all morning, no phone calls about fires to put out... I settled in and started snoozing. Apparently I was dreaming quite nicely, I heard a knock on my door which startled me from my blissful slumber, dammit. I hate that, wake up, not sure where you are, what's going on, adrenaline rushing...it was my friend who left me in the hell-hole stopping by for a visit. Bitch. She looked at me for a couple of seconds and burst out laughing, "You were sleeping weren't you?" Bitch.
We had a nice how ya doing visit for a few more minutes and away she went. At least I was awake for the rest of the day.

This was a good idea why?

LONDON - A passenger in first class woke up to a shock when he found himself sitting near a corpse on a British Airways flight, British newspapers reported on Monday.
Here is the rest of the story.

Apparently if you expire in coach, you can get an upgrade.

The weekend is over dammit

Lucy just left to go home, in much better shape than when she got here Thursday I might add. Even tho she started calling me Nurse Ratchett, she's feeling better and I'm happy about that. We did a little bit of something and a whole lot of nothing.
Yesterday we went to breakfast then came back home and slept most of the day. Sharon graciously invited us to meet her and Ms. A and some of their friends for Ms. A's birthday get-together. We did, a bit late for all the seating drama thankfully, but had a great time, then came home since Lucy was tired and the restaurant was extremely hot.
Today was brunch and hooking up with The Ladies at friday's for a little bit and back home to hang out on the couch. It's been a good few days.
Annie is due back sometime in the next couple of hours, her plane finally made it to Nashville a bit ago. She's been in the wilds of Vermont since Thursday morning.
Now I'm tired.

It's Friday

I was told to Fuck Off 5 minutes after I walked in the door after a hard day at work. I managed to make the faux pas of saying she had no shoulders to hold up that blouse she was bitching about, and carried it further by saying she is all tits and mouth. You wonder why I don't talk? I got another within 20 minutes for I don't even remember now.
We went to meet The Dirty Old Man, since it's his birthday and all, with this
picture in a card so he could always have her bra to hang on the dartboard. He was quite ecstatic.
A quick trip after that to The Dive to take a gift to the Mom-to-be, only to find out, she's already a Mom. He decided he couldn't wait to get into the world (dumbass) they're both ok, he just has to stay in the hospital a few more days.
Lucy kicked my ass a couple of games, The Princess showed up, we had some fun, time to go home. She's not well yet and still had burns from the duct tape from last night, so I had to bring her home to give her lotion and tie her up again.
We might venture out again tomorrow.

Don't faint

I've been at work early 4 days out of 5. That's a good thing since I was late 4 of 5 last week. The problem now is, I want to leave early today but my boss is not here and Annie is out of town. The next person to talk to is the old bat in HR that I've been fighting with all week. (She's not really an old bat, I like her) she's just...challenging...to get along with sometimes, like this week especially.
The other thing is, if I cut out an hour early that almost guarantees that everything will go to shit and noone will be here to fix it. Damn. I guess I'm stuck.
Sometimes it sucks to be responsible.

Dinner with Lucy

Lucy is here, bungee corded and duct taped on the couch. That'll teach her to get sick where I can't get to her. I cooked dinner for her, I didn't attempt shitloaf since mine tastes like that on a good day. We had grilled burgers and dogs with corn on the cob and fries. I've been called a bitch twice now for asking if she needed a sippy straw, I guess I should have left the "grandma" off. Nice to have her here:)

Packrats

I'm a bit of one, but Annie is the queen compared to me. They were getting rid of a bunch of shit at work, paint paddles being one of these things. Since they were free Annie decided to give them a good home. I have 2 cases in the back of my jeep at the moment. That's 2000 pieces of flimsy wood people. I have no idea what she plans to do with them, or why she felt the need to bring them home, but there you are. I suppose I could always start making buzzard houses...