Hello Kids

It's been another day. I had to hit the employment place today to prove that I'm actively looking for a job, and will probably be penalized for being honest. Yes, I skipped a week because I really expected to be called in for a job. I guess I should have lied and said I looked when I didn't. Well, I did look, I just didn't apply. Same thing I guess. I'm so tired of this shit. Even Mc d's doesn't want me now so it's a bit disheartening.
I threw some darts with my brother and invited myself over to The Asshole's house because otherwise I was gonna come home and cry myself into a puddle. I may still, but at least I staved it off for a few hours and ate dinner in the process. I also have volunteered to lay sod for them tomorrow, drink lunch with an old friend, and hit a pool because I can. I'll see how many things actually want or need me.
Still in a mood and don't know what to do about it other than sleep.
Mom ripped me a new one yesterday and I'm not really over that one yet either. I know, chin up, tits out, but dammit.
Think I'll take my pussy and whiny ass to bed, if he'll even sleep with me, he hasn't gotten over me falling over him the other night. One thing I did take care of, he has an appointment to get snipped next week. At least there are funds for that and maybe we'll all be happier after that.
Going to I don't know what, and sleep, after all tomorrow is another day.

Unsettled

Babycat's buddy came by tonight. Yes, I still feed whoever stops by. Babycat watched him from the doorway, as did I. I actually opened the door in case they wanted to have a reunion. They didn't. This one seems to be happy with his indoor status now.
The other seems to have a broken leg, and it broke my heart because I'd take him in if I could, but I can't touch him. I've only got this one because he decided to be people friendly enough to come to me and I coaxed him into the house.
I guess I'll keep leaving food out, but quit watching. I can't stand it.

Listening to Annie Lennox to try to soothe something because everything else in me is jangly tonight.

May have  to go to Mazzy Starr for calm. If I can find it. Outta here to do something. Later.

Nutting time is soon...

I've kept the little shit in the house for the last few days and for the most part he's ok with it. I'm just tired of everything I own being bled on when he has a little scratching fit. I didn't want to cut his nails until the other parts got cut because there may still be some going outside since he's a slippery little fucker. I'll make calls tomorrow so we can fix all this (I hope). I know he's still gonna want to play rough, but his little Edward Scissorhands thing right now isn't good for me because I bleed at the drop of a hat anyway. At least Lucy told me about peroxide so all my clothes aren't completely ruined. Speaking of which, I need to hit the head and throw some peroxide on this shirt since it looks like I slit someone's throat. Later kids.

I might revise my opinion of the cat

I left him in most of the day since I actually got out of the house for a change. He was in my bed when I got home, and other than the one making me bleed incident he's been good. For the most part, we get along and it's ok. He's usually in my lap while I sit here, he sleeps with me and he's a cuddler, even tho he takes up half the bed to do it. I think we may have kitty love going on.

It seems he went off to bed without me too, bastard.

He makes me smile if nothing else, and not much does these days so I'll be spending some of my cash stash fixing his ass and making him a proper housecat. I think I'll go to bed too. Later kids.

I'm adopting this cat, and I don't much like him. Might explain why I'm not all that jazzed about gettting him fixed right now. I don't want to spend money on him if I'm not gonna get a return for that. He sleeps with me and that's cool, but for the most part, he's not all that loving, he left today, and came back at dark wanting to eat my bracelet, and my face and I'm a bit pissed.
 I also have no idea where he is right now, but it's somewhere in the house. I may be on the news later when he eats my face.

Beyond all that. I has no job, and no expectation of finding one since everything I apply to is shit so it's no wonder I have a headache. I think I'll take my ass to bed and try again tomorrow.

Another?

I managed to interview ok it seems. I have a second this week. I feel like I've been poked and probed, but hell, if it works....

Cat has adopted me, and he makes me smile, so he can stay. The little fucker.

I think he and I need to go to bed because I'm a tired puppy.

Oh yeah, Betty is fine.Doc said the weight she'd lost was good for her, she was too hefty before, and the problem spot was a wart. She's a healthy 8 yr old, and I'm ashamed to say we thought she was younger. Someone should pay more attention.

Ok, I'm rambling so I'm outta here. Night kids.

Razor Blades

My stomach is shit right now. Hence the razor blade reference. I have a job interview Tuesday. I haven't had an actual interview in almost a year. Everything has been phone or e-mail, and apparently I suck at both since nothing has happened. I'm worried about actually showing up somewhere because hello, have you seen me? Right now my thing is my forearms because I've got what I call old lady skin. It looks like someone took a baseball bat to my left arm, and my right has claw marks from the Asshole's dog. Nobody's fault, the dog didn't really get me, and the other, I bumped into something the other day and there it is. I guess I'll be looking for something light and long sleeved to wear.

I've also apparently adopted a cat. Once I got him in the house and he looked around, he's made himself at home, and I'm ok with it. Have enough in the slush fund for a fixing and shots so I guess there's a vet visit next week too. Already one of those in the works for Betty, she's lost weight that neither of us really noticed until now, and that bite on her ear doesn't really look like a bite anymore. Yeah, I think I've had enough of this tonight. Gonna go smoke with the pussy and see if he wants to come back in and sleep with me tonight. He's a cuddler so I really wouldn't mind.
Later kids.

Crickets and Nightmares

Obviously haven't heard back from Mr. "I'll be in touch." So much for giddiness. Did get a call today from another place and I have an interview next week so I'll be dusting off the bullshit skills.
I've been sleeping a lot because I can, and the dreams/nightmares are strange. I've been seeing a lot of my dead sister lately. That's good, but bad. This morning I got a great hug and she was quite pregnant. A friend told me that means she's looking out for me and she's happy where she's at. I'm just glad I'm getting to see her, it's been awhile. It also works on my fragile mind a bit so I sat here and watched tv all afternoon crying over episodes of Ghost Whisperer because I could. I'm a mess.

I have shit to do tomorrow that may or may not happen. Saturday I have to go see Spawn becacuse it's his birthday party that he invited me to all on his own. I'm off to sleep some more now.

Fingers Crossed

I've been applying for non IT stuff because I really don't want to do that anymore, but the one job I did apply to the other day called. Another contract thing, but the guy that called was great. He knows my former bosses, we chatted a bit about the selling of the company, the stupidity of the system they went to, and my old hometown when it came up also. He said (and I know this may not mean a thing) that even if this one fell through he would try to find me something else.
I don't care anymore, throw me a bone and I'm giddy as hell for a minute at least. Will sit by the phone (metaphorically) tomorrow and hope. At least he called, and hopefully I didn't fail. Now it's time to sleep.

Whheeeee

Yeah, nothing new. I'm just sitting on my ass eating bon-bons these days. Ok, not really, but I might as well be. Apply for job, get rejected, rinse, repeat. not fun. I'm tired of being rejected dammit. At this point, my brain cells are pretty much gone too, so the couple of jobs I've actually shown up in person for, were same thing, just not an e-mail saying "Thanks so much, but you don't fit." They were just "We'll call", and nothing happens.
Annie thinks I'm not looking, but she has one now so she's forgotten it was hard. I'm also not starving yet so I guess I could be looking harder. Think I should have taken the trucker job. Except I don't really like to drive. Fuck.
I need to find something soon because a family vacation is coming up. As much as I'd love to go to the beach with Spawn, I just really don't want to. Stupid shit I know.
Yeah, wah, wah, it sucks to be me. I know it could be much worse, I'm just having a moment. I'll get over it and put on my big girl panties.
Today has just sucked. I'll be better soon.
Think I'll take my ass to bed. Later.