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I still don't know shit. Lucy is in a good place for her right now. I've talked to her and she sounds good, but I've also talked to other people, and it's not gonna be good when she gets out so she's gonna end up back in the same situation which isn't good. Horns of a dilemma anyone?
She's gonna come home to the same shit that sent her over the edge because they're sitting there waiting for her to get home and take care of shit because they can't be bothered.
I think I'll shut up now. If my mother ripping you a new one doesn't phase you, nothing will. And yes, she's done that a couple of times in the last few days.

I don't understand that mentality, but anyway.
Later.

so.....

I saw Lucy today and actually made her laugh a few times. Got a text later from her sis that they were moving her so I won't be able to see or talk to her for a few days.
Maybe that's best for everyone, she'll be out of the loop for a bit so hubby will have to fend for himself. Not really a sore spot, but it is, Lucy has taken care of everyone for so long, it's not good. Maybe she'll take care of herself for awhile.

Off to bed because I have to. Hopefully a job will show up tomorrow. Later kids.

So There It Is

This place is usually all about me, and it still is, but Lucy is worrying me. Seriously. She did a shitload of stupidity yesterday. She's been talking about things for awhile, but of course none of us thought she would actually go there. She did. Looked like it would be ok yesterday so I came home, and now I'm not so sure.
Her husband is calling to keep me in the loop mainly because he wants to know what I know, and her sister doesn't really want him to know that, she's keeping me in the loop because she thinks I can help Lucy, and I'm just WTF over all of it.
Lucy called me yesterday crying, and semi-coherent. I finally got out of her that she was wanting to check out and she'd done shit. She got incoherent after I'd called her Sis to check on her.
She's still in ICU in a podunk hospital. I'll be visiting podunk hospital tomorrow since her sister told me she's not better. She was supposed to be ok by today from what they told me yesterday.
Will keep you posted.

Stuff I Can Put Here but Nowhere Else

Lucy went with me and Dad to Tunica. We had a good time. She called me this morning several times before I finally called her back because I was all about that sleeping thing, it was raining and I was trying to catch up.
She did something supremely stupid so I called her sister and met them at the hospital. She's ok, and there is a line forming to kick her ass. And now I get to kick it twice since her husband just called asking me if I had something to do with it. I can't tell him, "No, it's you" so I played nice and here I am.
I think I'll go find some more of that sleep I've been looking for. Send up a good thought for Lucy, she's having a hard time.

Been Slacking

I Caught the big fish, saw Charlie Daniels with Dad, and won and lost a bunch of money. It was a good week.

I had a novel in the making earlier, but of course that's like everything else, it goes up in smoke. I can't remember my name for more than a minute right now, and I can't spell either, and dammit, I can spell. I'm tired of this shit, I think I'll go sleep for a couple of days since I was wide awake all the time Dad was all over the road and I was losing money gambling. I'm tired.

Later.

I had a point

Facebook is pissing me off, as it is everyone else in the Universe.
I didn't make visitation today, I think she understands.

Mom has pissed off everyone, including Lucy which is tatamount to at least an OMG.
My fault still, but anyway.
I still have no job, I'm still looking, but talking to people..........geeeze.
I should give up and run away while I can.

Going to sleep now since I can do that really well. Later kids.

De-sensitized?

I'm tired. Shit has been said about the last thing, and I think I'll skip the whole thing. She'd understand. I don't want fake people around when I die. Dammit you better actually care about me if you show up.
Today was useless, and tonight Annie was crazy and I was the gatekeeper for most of that so I dunno.
Talked to my brother, since he showed up late. We argued politics for a bit because he likes to and I don't care most of the time. He said it sounded like I did have the job that's on hold, but since it's on hold I should be looking. Great.

Gotta get Annie out of here in the morning so I can have the house to myself for a few days. I need to lie around in my underwear for a day or so just because.
It's hard to have a pity party with someone else around.

Think I'll play here for a minute and take my ass to bed. I don't even have the energy for Wii tonight.

Especially Sensitive? I dunno

Think I may be a tad, but shit y'all. Got a phone call today, a former co-worker hanged herself this weekend. I don't know any details other than she'd been laid off, was called back to work at some point, so I don't know what the hell happened that caused all this.
I've got to go to the funeral home because I've known her forever, and know her family but I really don't want to see any of those other people there so that bothers me too.
She was a nice person. I didn't see her all the time, and she could get on my last nerve, pretty much like everyone else I know, but she was sweet, and I really hate it she felt this was her only option.
Off to do something mindless for awhile and hit the bed since job-shopping is even more depressing. Later.

I Got Up at The Buttcrack of Dawn for This?

Alarm set for 5, got up at 5:30. Threw biscuits in the toaster oven, put shit in the yard, and took off to put up signs saying "We're having a yardsale dammit."
Kinda ate, had some coffee Annie made that put dark curlies on my chest, and waited for the masses. They failed to materialize. I guess they didn't get the memo.
Waiting for Ms. Sweet to have one and take out an ad saying we have BOOKS, AND BOOKS, and other stuff. Disappointing day to say the least. I'm just happy I sold that snuggie my dad thought I needed. Really?
Other things, Lucy and I hung out with Little Shit since his mom is out of town. Wendy's really sucked ass tonight, but it was food, and Mr. Shit didn't care, he got me time. Home, Annie is gone, Lucy has crashed, and I'm probably not far behind. My non-existent ass is dragging.
Later.

SO.... It's like this

Woke up early, primed Annie with a biscuit and we got shit done at The Asshole's house. It's pretty.
Played trivia with Mr. Cool while Annie did other shit and met The Assholes for dinner. 3rd again, but that's still in the money so I'm good with it.
Finally got an e-mail saying the job was a job, but...........
I'm delayed until the guvment gets their shit together basically. FUCKERS.
Anyway, back to looking.
Mom is mad at me because I haven't been there, haven't called and all that. And it wouldn't matter if I called every day.
She sinks into depression but she doesn't understand when other people do. I've been in the pit for a long time now. My light was this job, I was told "Yes, you know your shit". Not in those words, but you know what I mean.
Asshole from last job made me feel so inept I was worried, I thought maybe I didn't really know my shit.
I'm better, stronger, faster now. And Dammit, people like me.

Maybe Looking Up

I applied for a job yesterday (several actually) and got a call back. Short phone interview, another phone interview set up for this morning. Apparently I'm not as dumb as I thought, interviewer said I knew my shit, without putting it that way, and now I'm in the hands of the hiring manager. Fingers crossed I get a call back tomorrow.
Worked on The Asshole's yard today since that's still something to do, got yardsale stuff to finish getting together and running out of time, but I'm not going to the shed in the dark and rain to pull boxes out tonight. I'll deal with it tomorrow. Or wait till the last minute like I usually do anyway. Think I'll crash early tonight since I have things to do tomorrow. Later kids.

So it's later...

I'm still working on the book. Floors are mopped, Lucy hates me, and I'm just in a generally foul mood. I should sleep, but that seems to be elusive right now too.
I wore one of my free shirts today and since it actually fits, I realized I look sickly. I know I've lost weight, but catching sight of myself in the mirror was kinda "Whoa Shit" for a second. That's not good since I have no insurance anymore either.
I've never been without a job this long, it's kinda scary. I'm not destitute yet, and won't be if my parents have anything to do with it, but I don't want to depend on them either. I applied for jobs where my friend is, will tell her in the morning (later today) to get my apps pulled and see where it goes I guess. And I think now I'll finish the book and put my ass in bed. She Wore A Yellow Ribbon is coming on. Love that movie.

Sundays are Hard

I don't know if it's because Lucy leaves on Sunday or a little bit of everything else, but I don't really like them anymore. Today was really bad, I guess the anniversary made it worse. I just want to sit in the corner and cry, and that's not going to help anything so here I am.
Annie is out of town so I'm home alone again which also doesn't help anything. At least with her here I have some human interaction. Mostly her bitching at me about job hunting, but still, that's something. A friend jumped me yesterday about applying (again) where she could at least get me interviewed. I did, but I don't expect much from it. My self-esteem is in the toilet too. Oh well.
I have a book I was all into a little while ago and now have no desire to finish so I think I'll mop floors and do something else for awhile.
Later.

Trivia Night again

So, Annie didn't leave town. We managed. She worked on her stuff and I got most of my list done. Yard mowed, laundry done, various other tasks accomplished. I have clean sheets, clean room and clean clothes.
Played trivia with Mr. Cool and The Assholes, and Annie. Finished in the top 3 so all good.
Yard Sale is coming up. I'm looking at getting rid of everything I can't, don't, or won't use because really? I have entirely too much shit.
Other than that, I think I'm done for the night. I actually didn't get much sleep after staying up half the night last night.
Things pending....
Job front is not looking good for either of us at the moment so it's about to get scary around here. Another reason to have all my shit gone so I can bail and run away at a moment's notice. Thoughts and stuff.
Must call Lucy. Later kids.

Getting tired of myself

Did yardwork here and somewhere else today. Yay. Need to do some more here. Annie is going out of town tomorrow so that helps. Spent the last couple of days doing nothing since it was raining.
Even Prince can't seem to cheer me up tonight so I think I'll see if I can sleep. Facebook has pissed me off, being out and about has pissed me off and life in general isn't working out too well. Yep, see what I mean with the title?
Later.

Shit Learned, and then some

So the power went off for a bit. Not a big deal. We've been there, done that. Difference was I dragged Annie to Offal House, at almost midnight. She went willingly.
I'm pissed the girl who cashed me out made a comment about the tip I left. She didn't wait on me. The one who did was cleaning the table where I'd left some cash on top of the tip I put on the card, so I'm tempted to call and bitch because I can.
Not cool.
4 on 20 when there wasn't much going on? Not bad. So fuck you lady.

I went back to bed this morning and had some of those dreams. I felt one of my cats climbing on me, so they both visited my dreams. It was nice to see them again. They're missed.
I've been a slug today. Mrs. Asshole sent me a text this morning, we went over there and I tried a mussel. No, I don't like. That's done. Had ribs and corn, yes, I do like. Now taking my ass to bed because I can, and only had one cup of coffee while I was out, so that 4 bucks was actually too much.
Later kids.

I'm a big Pussy

Last night I slept with ice on my shoulder because I apparently pulled something while digging up stumps, pretending my ribs weren't hurt. Today my ribs hurt. Yes, they are bruised, and Lucy and I will talk about that later. I've applied for several jobs and nothing is happening so...... I'm getting scared.

Gonna go to bed soon with more ice and hope I don't have bad dreams again. Night kids.

And yet another Thing

For some reason, I'm leading with my left these days. I noticed it awhile ago while digging a drainage ditch for Annie, my left leg was sore after. Caught myself doing it today with the axe. Scary shit ain't it? I won't even be able to be a capable axe murderer at this rate.
Life is terrifically boring right now. After some yardwork, I hung out till I found dirt on my ear and had to shower and get back out of the house. I did get some Little Shit time so that helped. He still loves me.
I should get to sleep because my schedule is really screwed. Later kids.

Out of Character

Being unemployed is making me do strange things. I went to a movie this afternoon. I generally don't do that, but things being what they are, Annie and I went to see The Help. I liked it, and hated it, and the movie experience at 3 pm is way better than most times I've been, so there is that.
Movie is worth a watch, I just told Lucy I wouldn't be seeing it with her because she's gonna get ballistic about some of it, and that's ok, but she's on her own with it.
After that our boys were working the bar since we went to the nice theater, (I even put on jeans for this outing) so we got to see them for a bit. It's been awhile.

I'm home and don't know what to do with myself since I'm not sleeping lately after way too much of it. Feast or famine.

Finally got off my ass and started applying for jobs I can actually do and **crickets**. That's not good. Will keep sending shit out and see what happens because it's getting to be crunch time. My nest is thinning and I don't like it.
Think I'll go hit baseballs or something. Night kids.

So......

Let's see, it's been a few. Mr. Cool bailed on trivia last week so Annie, Mr. Asshole and I played. We finished with a huge score of -1. Now we know for sure who the brains in this operation are lol. We also threw together a suprise birthday party for Mrs. Asshole and The Princess since they both have one coming up this week. Ok, surprise for Mrs. Asshole, we had to tell The Princess so he would actually show up since his Saturdays are always so busy ya know. Lucy and I showed up at the restaurant for a drink, made up an excuse to leave and decorated the house before everyone showed up. It was cool. Dad even came, as did one of her friends she doesn't see much anymore, a good time was had by all.
I think Lucy beat me up in my sleep last night tho, my ribs are bruised and it hurts to breathe, not a good thing since breathing is kinda essential. Got online and applied for a few jobs today so fingers crossed I'll hear from somebody soon. Just watched the VMA's to see Adele and the show definitely lived up to my expectations since I already thought it would suck. Off to check in with Lucy and put my ass in bed since I've got things I have to do tomorrow. Night kids.