Happy Medium

I can't seem to find one. I've been miserable, I got really tired of that. I said what I said, and I'm refraining from kicking in a door to say some more because I've also had more to drink tonight than I've had in quite awhile. I know, that never leads to anything good. I'm one extreme or the other, I shut down, or spew. Tonight I spewed weeks worth of frustration, and all I get is "I'm sorry" and it wasn't something she meant, just something she was taught to say when drunken idiots rant at you.
I give up.
I've tried really hard, but I just can't anymore.