Boobies

I was wondering why my boobs hurt a couple of days ago, since they never do. Something in my bra that shouldn't be there, and just ouch, ouch, ouch. I was thinking "Holy Hell I've got breast cancer since I haven't had a mammogram and that itchy spot has a lump and OH MY GOD!" Today I couldn't be pried out of bed to go to work, (which may or may not have something to do with too much beer last night, but I digress.) I was having a fabulous dream about stuff, and nonsense, and nevermind. Then I woke up, and went to pee because well, that happens. Hello Mother Nature. Dammit. Ok, I can deal with the what the fuck ever times, and even the mood swings, but my boobs? Leave those puppies alone dammit. Thank you.
We shall return to regularly scheduled service now.